Thursday, May 29, 2008

Love thy neighbor...or so they say

I have been wanting blog about my neighbors for a while now but always feared it would get back to them. But after MUCH consideration I decided what the hell, they are never going to read this and if they do...then screw 'em, I don't care. They piss me off!
We moved into our house a few months after our they did. They have 5 kids and 2 dogs. We have 2 kids no animals.

The husband owns a general carpentry company and she stays at home and does her thing. They are foster parents for infants. They are good people, super devout Christan's. When we met the FIRST thing he said was "We do not drink, we do not swear"

Well then and there I was thinking "Damn that is messed up shit"

See I drink and obviously swear. Working on the swearing but the drinking??? Hum let me think, maybe NEVER. An ice cold beer on a hot Wisconsin day YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY.

By now you are probably wondering how on earth could I could have any issues with these people. No loud parties with biker dudes swearing like sailors, sounds like great neighbors.

Well because they are "good" people does not mean they make OK/good/great neighbors.
They do have their flaws and it has gotten out of control.
Their back yard faces our side yard, make since to you? We have a great deck on the side of our house and we LOVE to sit out there in the warmer weather. We eat out there and drink and swear out there.

Now that you have a somewhat visual let me list the questions I have for them but will never ask unless maybe I am drunk :)

1) Why you have not finished your siding? It has been 7 years and still the siding job you started has not been finished. I am getting sick of seeing your half tan, gold and Tyvek house, it is UGLY! For God's sake you are a carpenter.

2) Why oh why are you kids so flippin rude to mine? Is that something Jesus would do? Not very neighborly if you ask me. Is it because we drink and swear? Well face it you are the minority in the neighborhood. I have drank with most of the neighbors. Remember they guy handing out shots on Halloween? Oh, you don't trick or treat?

3) The pine tree is YOURS! It is/was big I understand, about 30-50 feet if not more. But when 1/2 of the top broke off in a storm 3 years ago you said you were going to take it down. You said the other top half was unstable. Damn you are smart! Because just a month ago the other side broke off during a wind storm. You were quick to clean it up but when you looked at me and said "I don't know what we are going to do with the the other half of the tree that is still standing" Um...I have an answer F#$KING take it down! DUH!

4) Why do you think it is OK to erect a HUGE pool with no sort of fence around it like 12 feet from my property line? IT IS NOT OK! I did not like but handled the little blue blow up thing you had for years but this is to dangerous. Are you that stupid? If the city building inspector calls you it was NOT me ;) And seeing as you placed it close to the half pine tree, i guessed you answered your own question. You are going to do nothing about it, figures.

5) Your trampoline also freaks me out. I thought it was great when you bought the one that has the net around it for safety. I do however think the net is not suppose to hang loose in toward where your children are jumping. just an observation.

6) Your stupid dogs people bark all the time! Your Lab as pretty as she is has been driving me INSANE for years! I sleep with my bedroom window open in the summer and that things barks at EVERYTHING! She wakes me up all the time. Shut her up. Then there is your little dog that bark is like fingers down a chalk board she barks only when the Lab barks ALL THE TIME!

I think that sums it up.

Below is the tree and the pool. You can see their house but only 1 of the colors the others are to the right of tree out of your view.


Blarney said...

You know I find that getting all that passive agresivnesss out feels pretty damned good! I mean what the hell are they thinking! If Jesus came over he would more than likely ask them whay the fuck they are so aweful to their neighbors ... I mean I thought there was some rule about being kind to your neighbors. All that rightous shit they preach ... oh yeah well practice what you fuckin' preach!
There even I feel better now too! :)
There - well go to hell together now for sure.

Janie said...

I loved reading your story, but your neighbors could be worse. I've posted many a neighbor story. My neighbor from hell is gone. He couldn't afford his rent anymore and was kicked out. Plus, his wife left him again because he was an out of work alcoholic. Good post though. keep venting, and posting. It did me good to get it off my chest.

Lex the mom said...

Wow! I am feeling so fortunate about now (I have had bad neighbors in the past). Isn't there some kind of ordinance about the pool fencing being mandatory? I'd be quite worried about that myself & barking dogs!! I love dogs, but if I live next to anyone who has them and they bark a lot, I hate those dogs. Hate is a strong word I don't often use, so take that for what it's worth.

I am glad you got a chance to vent this - but me oh, my! What can you(are you going) do? I'd be a bit like a woven treasure catcher about now.

I don't know if those astute religioners (totally made up, sorry) are like that as a defense mechanism or if they are just not true to their beliefs. I find it really difficult to understand how the rudeness can be acceptable in a religion that requires one to be good to all.

I feel for you! I'd be a good neighbor if you lived next to me (I can do without the beers most of the time - I find it harder to give up the swearing...heh). :)

Ann said...

Good for you! Let it out!
I sympathize.

Heather said...

Well, damn hell ass...they are sorry neighbors. Can I come drink and curse really loudly on your deck with you?? It sounds like my kinda party.

Sunshine Buzo said...

Oh just reminded me of three neighbor stories I must blog about. You've also made me wonder if MY neighbor's are blogging about me...and my LOUD girls. And me yelling at my LOUD girls. I promise to give you credit if I write about the neighbors, k? :)

Good stuff.

Angie said...

Wow and I thought my neighbors sucked. Good to get that off your chest! I'm visiting from SITS. Thanks for the laugh! I'll be back often.

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